Strange things keep happening. Unusual capabilities are opening up. Past-life memories are surfacing.
For instance, I’m finding various forgotten skills from the past coming to my service at this moment. Some of them are from this life; others from past lives, apparently.
The first is from this life.
I suddenly became aware the other day that whatever it was I’ve been doing lately has had the effect of waking up my body and consciousness from the somewhat-relaxed state of retired life to a certain other, more energetic level of activity.
That other level was what I reached as a Member of the Immigration and Refugee Board of Canada, before retiring. I’m ready to step back into a business modality at that level and probably from that mindset, attitudinal set, and style of “doing business.”
That mindset was often very serious. The job was to decide who was a refugee and who not, according to the U.N. Convention on refugees – like an Immigration Judge in the U.S., but quasi-legal.
If we got it wrong, we could be sending someone back to persecution, torture, or worse. I had to be fully aware all the time, fully alive to behavioral cues, and fully sensitive to the cultural-lens effect. (1)
To wake up to that extent was, in the end, not difficult. I only noticed the end point of the process. All of it was accomplished without my conscious knowing.
Some of it involves letting go of that delicious in-the-moment state that one indulges in if one’s retired. Many people regard it as unconsciousness, but I see it as blissful.
Letting go of that was the hardest thing. … It’s still hard! But I’ll double back for the bliss later.
Now I know I can recover my fairly-sober-sided business front, performance, role. I can play my part, consciously. This is a constructed self, yes, but it’s a consciously-constructed self, the same way that a pilot enters into a consciously-constructed self to fly a plane. It’s one I can take off. More importantly, it’s one I can put on.
I still have no memory, which is tremendously vexatious. But I’m hopeful it’ll return by the time I need it, since everything else is going so well.
Being as awake as my former job required relates to a skill set I learned in this lifetime – or at least I think it does. I have to be granted a little leeway in what I’m saying. Awareness is a field that has few measuring sticks or standard values known to me – “a lot,” “a little” is sometimes the best I can do.
It isn’t just this life’s lessons I’m drawing on. There’s also some bleedthrough, I think, from a past life as a mathematician. And this is the second area of my life that is bringing me new skills from past occasions.
It started when I looked at a book on calculus recently. When my eyes fell on diagrams – mostly graphs – that illustrated a relationship or applied a formula, my heart skipped a beat. I got excited and felt I had to read on. Me, a guy who hates math? (2) This had never happened to me before.
The relationships being illustrated in the diagrams challenged me in some way. They suggested universal laws of equivalence, balance, symmetry, etc. I was pleasantly surprised at the way I felt.
I suddenly saw myself sitting on a beach. I knew it was the Mediterranean. I was asking myself why the waves were all shaped the same way and why they came upon the beach in such a regular manner. I was concentrating, contemplating. Nowadays I’d see that as waiting for guidance or inspiration.
Before I loved sacred geometry (I don’t know which of us is speaking right now), I loved patterns. Symmetries. Relationships.
Back to me now. I noticed I was most drawn to the properties of the sine wave. Aum is a sine wave. (3)
I wasn’t quite hypnotized, but I felt strong interest. This was a definite bookmark. This is the process of waking up to a past life, I believe.
(Concluded in Part 2, below.)
(1) Seeing matters through the lens of my own culture. The most telling case for me was an elderly Sikh woman whose claim could not be understood unless I became aware that she was not looking me in the face, not because she was lying, but because a Sikh woman of her generation did not look a man in the face. Besides, she had been subjected to persecution for having stood up to men in her society. She didn’t want the same to happen in Canada.
Realizing the impact of seeing things through a cultural lens was enough to clear my last remaining doubt and decide the claim. I’m weeping as I write this, such was the impact of claims like these on us as decision-makers.
(2) Archangel Michael told me that the mathematician asked him at the end of his life to promise that he’d never have to incarnate as a mathematician again. Michael agreed.
(3) Aum is the universal creative vibration, which issues forth from, and is governed by, the Divine Mother.
For Hindus: Aum calls all matter (mater, Mother) into being (Akar phase, rajas guna, Brahma), holds it in place for a while (Ukar phase, sattwa guna, Vishnu), and then dissolves it back into nothingness (Makar phase, thamas guna, Shiva).
Sri Shankara confirms these relationships:
Steve Beckow: What is the connection between what Hindus call Brahma, Vishnu and Shiva, and the gunas or the cosmic forces of rajas, sattwa and thamas?
Sri Shankara: I can answer this very quickly. There are no differences. (“Sri Shankara: Everywhere You Look Will be a Monsoon of Love,” June 26, 2013, at http://goldenageofgaia.com/2013/06/26/sri-shankara-everywhere-you-look-will-be-a-monsoon-of-love/.)