Heavenletter #5804 Life in 3D, October 15, 2016
What are the building blocks of your life? The building blocks are love. If not love itself, a search for love or a rebuke toward love. Many a song and a dance pass for love even though love is being impersonated. Perhaps you thought that you couldn’t do better, yet the feeling hangs over you that life sold you short, or that it is you who sold yourself short.
Where is love exactly anyway? Love is supposed to belong and exist in the heart, yet somehow you see love dressed up as in a parade. You went along with it. You see now that love came misappropriated and dressed up as love and passed as love, your love and others’ love. It would seem that you find yourself with a false front. You would have never have expected this kind of love to be what you would get or settle for.
Of course, you want to be true to your heart, yet you may resist your love or feign it. You never want to be caught, yet you may not catch on to your self-deception, and so you cheat yourself. You deprive yourself of love, the Main Act of Love. Often enough, you may drag out your stories of love and play them to the hilt again and again – as if they were true.
Often, you don’t really know what to make out of your life or even who you are as you play around in this sequence of events loosely referred to as your life. You may not have quite touched base with the life allotted to you.
You may come to see yourself and life as distant and faraway as you ravish misdemeanors and neglect of your True Self. You may not grasp where you have been and where you have not been and how you may have faked your life. You didn’t want to. Of course, you didn’t want to. You didn’t want to come to terms with being negligent and short-sighted.
You don’t want to be alone without love to and fro, yet you may find yourself alone without love and in despair. Life became a fraudulent attempt at love as if love didn’t matter that much really after all.
Your heart beats a different tune. You might rather hide from yourself than to discover this outrage you have perpetuated. You had thought your life would have won the day and you would have loved and been thoroughly loved.
Somehow you had never built your claim to love. This could never have happened, and, yet, it did. This could not be your life you were living. Surely, this could not be the life you were supposed to live. Somehow, you grabbed the wrong life. Perhaps it was foisted on you by some trick. You played a joke on yourself. You don’t want to call your life so lean.
You never became the prince or princess in the eyes of the world and, now, not in your own eyes either.
You masqueraded as someone else. You are not quite sure who you were. You try to sort yourself out.
You recognize that you passed life by. Where had your life gone? Where had all your predictions landed? Where were you all this imagined time? What had you really been up to, and how come?
You had not been looking. Only lately did you begin to look yourself straight in the eye. Your life had been made up of an exaggeration here and an exaggeration there. Your dreams had not changed your life. You threw yourself away, or, at least, you became droopy-eyed.
You felt you were the dregs in your Cup of Life. How could this be when you once had such hopes? You bit off more than you could chew, or, you simply did not bite off enough. You scattered your dreams for what didn’t matter to you in the long run.
You don’t know how this happened. Maybe you will know better next time. Maybe you won’t conserve your life next time. Maybe you will actually catch on to life and live it as if you really know what matters next time. Don’t wait. Start now.