I have been now at home again since August 2015 when after some bypass surgery in 2014 I has stroke and amid recovery and day-clinic with rehabilitation exercises at night at home fell down and broke my left hip. Again the ambulance drove me to hospital where I had another surgery. Some weeks in hospital and starting exercises all again. Day clinic was programming my days while for the time being they put me up in a nursing home for elderly people. All this confronted me wirh spheres of life completely new to me.
All institutions had some alike people to care for including me. And everywhere were these invalid people which cared mostly to get better but with the exception of the nursery home. The time off at the day clinic we ser on our fixed places at tables of four and there was a peculiar stillness among us. There were no talks abour one`s life, no communication if personal desires or worldly events, nothing but hospital job talk and the latter only little. I spent there three weeks and the only joy I had in the Handicraft Hour where they taught us to paint on cotton bags with particular paint. And we painted silk-shawls which delighted me.
And then there was the Nursing Home. In the middle of the own near by a 14-storey house where earlier in my life I lived about 20 years. Here in the Nursing Home it was even worse with the stillness. Even the people without shortcoming did not speak and took their meals without much words. I tried to make some conversation but without much use. So I tried to help everywhere I could. to feed the disabled etc. I had a ladyfriend there who was also a contemporary one. She sat beside me at the table in a wheelchair and suddenly her old trembling hand shove her empty cup towards me. I looked at her delicate fine features in her face and I knew all of a sudden what she wanted- we understood each other just looking. I took her cup and made the nursing personnel make her a fresh cup of tea. I took the old wrinkled hands of hers into mine and both of us felt some happiness.
An other day we met her accidentally in the long floor and I said to her:”Hello my girlfriend” and she took my hand and replied: Every time I see you I feel joy in me!” These happenings make me still happy. Most of the other ladies did not know to find some words and spent their time lining up with their wheelchairs along the floor only with so little talk.
As I had foreseen this kind of spending the days there of my companions while I spent my days still in the day clinic I started drawing there pattern of flowers from the pattern book in order to knowing what to do when my time in the nursing home would come. So I spent the days there in my room painting. Later I went to a nearby shop and bought glue and the daily newspaper. –after finished painting the pattern of flowers I started to accumulate Collages and water-coloured them, I tried to show all my finished works to the other ones but found only little interest. If it were the other way round I would have started alike hobbies with those interested. But it seems they had given up already interests of former life or occupations. So I tried to display unconditional love around me but still now their faces and gestures haunt me and I think quite often of those elderly people with so many shortcomings. They live a live besides all other of us, they do not go out very often as if they fear it.
Being at home again I feel having striped off all depressing vibes and low frequencies and all I am reading now of channels and published posts are about unconditional love which on hand of my -experiences too are represented as essential in this period – it is essential that we carry this kind of love in our hearts and minds as it is godlike and make us mature for ascension.
With so much love to all!