When I got a first hunch what it is all there-is-about-out-there
It was one of these lovely warm evenings in early August … as our little family walked home rather late after having a birthday celebration of my father with friends in their lovely big garden with all the sunshine and ripening fruits of this special August time. At these times there were hardly cars or cabs and people had to do many things in the oldfashioned way – viz. themselves. So had we too walking home and it was quite a long way alongside a big municipal park with a big lake. I remember the water shining in silvery shades throught the opening of trees and bushes which were nothing like they had been during the sunny day but now at night encloaked in dark shadowy forms. The warmth of the sunny day with all its lovely and delicate summer smells still lingered in the shadows of this night and above us there was that high August-Sky with all the richness of the stars twinkling and glittering and lightning up against the warm deep blue-almost black sky at some night in August.
I was about 4 or five years old and I was utmost tired as I had slept already some hours at our friends’ place before my parents left this little party. The way home seemed to stretch itself before the mind of a little child into a long long road to be conquered – I felt so weary and tired – almost unable to be walked with such little legs …. when I sensed the arm of my father around me as he must have felt some of of my thoughts …. and softly he told me
with his deep soothing voice: “lay yourself back in my arm, little Eve, and close your eyes and go on sleeping – just command your feet to walk on, I’ll be guiding and leading you …. ” I tried to do what he told me but again it appeared that this very loving advice would not work fully so I just snuggled into his arm and made my feet walk half asleep with my upper half of body. I recall my thoughts still now vividly as I thought: “How can I still go on sleeping with my upper part of body and keep the lower part awake go on walking?”
It was a silent walk for some time and no shadowy form of the bushes and trees alongside
the road could reach out to me and harm me with fear as I was so safeguarded in my father’s arm.
The road was a broad one in a sort of flat valley and the starry sky above us opened up into a vast dark blue dome with all its shiny lights. After some time I heard my father’s voice again and now I assume that it was his attempt to distract my attention from the long long way still to go until reaching home again. He told me to look up into the sky as I should never find so easily skies as such again during the year .. because only in August you will have so many stars falling down and the constellation of the stars is a very special one in August of our Northern Hemisphere. He showed me where to find the “Big Bear or Big Carriage” and its minor counterpart .. to go upward 5 more stars to reach the North Polar Star … he told me all about the Planet Earth and pictured how tiny our planet was compared to the Milky Way and the Universe. “Earth is like a corn of sand”, he said” – I remember it still very well, “if you compare Earth to all other planets and the vastness of universe stretching itself into still unknown distances.Earth being a round globe like a ball it flies together with all the other stars through universe!”
My question to his story was as I thought of us human beings living on Earth here: “and Papa what is it about us – we live here on Earth – if she is so small like a corn of sand ?” and hearing his response that we – human beings are still much minor in size to what I hitherto considered a vast and immensely big world when imaging “Earth” ….It was like a lightning flash into me and through and out of me again going up or round into the deep vastness of universes.
All of a sudden I understood the full impact of his words and I fell from a such a safe place all through the universe sailing as a “the tiny human being even minor to a corn of sand” that I now was with this newly won deep knowledge of what this life was all about against the overwhelming grand picture of Universe with all its stars – inumerable to be counted.
I felt – now being a bit at loss of words to make you feel exactly what I was so suddenly aware of – like what I read and learned now from the sage myths and wisdom of native Americans:
The Final Vision
“Life is the flash of a firefly in the night.
It is the breath of the buffalo in the winter.
It is the little shadow which runs across
the grass, and loses itself in the sunset.”
~Crowfoot / Blackfoot~
This is exactly what I felt after my father taught me of what is behind our life on Earth – so beloved by all of us and dependent on her- in her firmly linked relation to the stars and All-There-Is.
This was when my childhood finally ended and – no more – no longer – was I the same child like all the others and this inner knowledge and wisdom lived ingrained deeply in my heart and since that talk with my father this feeling never left me that I was still sailing through the Universe being diminished to minor than a corn of sand … in a way I assume now that I was returned to my true self again in some spiritual way … and all what happened in my later life has been been incited by myself from this very platform of my own which I reached when I was made aware of the Great Things of Our Life on this beautiful August eve. In this and other ways we had similar discussions also in later life also like such when I was walked home by my father.on that speciaI night in August..
I even do not recall my mother but I know she was with us but as a very much matter-of-fact-person – always on the go – always in a haste – and never take time to ponder – she was completely cut out of this story and therefore did not share our mutual world of the stars of this August evening.
I do not know – but I think that deep urge in me to know more and to know possibly all I can get a hold on derives from this very moment … reading so much at random about everything in life and creating for myself values in life which were so different from the usual ones being preached to us. This urge never stopped me from asking questions as to the behinds of some teachings or outer appearances of matters.
I just had to share this True Life Story of mine with you as we now have arrived at “Zero-Time” which is the time for which I seem to have waited all through my life … to the true awakening of our soul and changing ourselves from human beings “minor than corns of sand” to fully awakened divine sparkles – in full consciousness of our souls – being the offspring of our Eternal Divine Source – the Almighty Great Spirit !
So I shall strive onward to joining eventually our true divine family as we are all ONE !